Balance:
Setting Boundaries And Priorities
Learning to set personal boundaries and establish priorities is becoming
increasingly essential today. We have 24 hours in a day, and we and other
people are putting more and more demands upon our time and activities.
We need to learn that “No” (Thank You) is a complete sentence, and to
make the best choices for ourselves and our families.
Too often we find ourselves pulled into situations that are simply
someone else’s problem. The following true story has already helped
numerous people learn to:
- Stop
- Take a moment to look at the situation from a different perspective
- Realize that the problem and the solution are not their responsibilities
- And step away with a smile.
 Not my dog, not my cake!™
I met Rusty and Janet when I was in Italy during
the summer of 2000. I had gone there with 30 teenagers for two weeks
of travel and ministry. Rusty and
Janet were the hosts assigned to our group, and we became quite close during
our days of travel.
I’m not quite sure what happened to set Rusty off, but
during one afternoon he came to talk with his wife and “blow off steam.”
She heard him out, cocked
her head and he said, “I know, I know…not my dog, not my cake,” and walked
off. I had been talking to her when he walked up, so of course I was a
bit curious as to this random statement…she was kind enough to oblige
with an
explanation.
Her sister and brother-in-law had no kids, so they got a dog.
This dog, as most usually do, became the kid. So, when it came time
for “Fido’s”
birthday,
the “doggie parents” threw the puppy a birthday party. Everyone was invited,
and most came.
 Grandma was sitting in the rocking chair in the dining
room, where a huge spread had been set up. Everyone else was out of
the room, doing
other
things. The
puppy-child came in, jumped up on the table, and proceeded to eat the
birthday cake. The dog then jumped off the table and disappeared.
When
everyone else came in to the dining room, they immediately noticed
the destroyed birthday cake, and quickly deduced what had happened.
Everyone turned to see Grandma sitting in the chair, and they asked
her why she
had
just witnessed
the doggie-cake-fest, and had done nothing to stop it.
Her response? “Not my dog, not my cake!”™ © 2005 Aymie Smith and Jeanne Smith
This concept has allowed me to view my work from a different
perspective and to set different boundaries. I partner with the client
by assuming
the professional responsibility to listen to client’s situation, empathize,
brainstorm and offer possible solutions – but ultimately, the choices
and implementation of the solutions belongs to the client.
And I no
longer bring the stress of other people’s problems home with me!
What
baggage are you carrying around that does not belong to you? How much
energy does it take to think about it, worry about it and manage
it when it is
“Not your dog” and it’s “Not your cake”? |
